Let’s Skip the Small Talk
I’m gonna level with you here. I’m an introvert. I am the definition of introvert. Hell, I’m basically a recluse.
I hate small talk. It’s grueling and draining. I’m exhausted by the end of it. So exhausted that I run back to my basement bedroom and turn my brain off for awhile. So, let’s not do it anymore.
I understand that, when making new friends, a certain amount of small talk is required. It’s that awkward phase when you’re around someone you don’t know, so you revert to the same old boring questions or maybe make a stupid joke about something you’re both looking at.
I can endure the small talk because I know that deeper conversations will come later. Lately, though, it feels like they never come at all.
It feels as though nobody is passionate anymore. We live in the world of:
“How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?”
But the conversation never goes further than that, and, if it does, it’s just as shallow.
“Weather’s been crazy, huh?”
So let’s skip the small talk!
Don’t start with “Hi, how are you?” Don’t ask me how my day was. My answer will always be the same: I’m well, my day was fine.
Start with an icebreaker instead. Ask me a question that makes me think. Tell me something about yourself, like your hopes and dreams. Let’s get into a discussion about the meaning of life or how your favorite movie redefines the film industry.
My best friend and I tell each other about our day every day, but that always leads into a discussion about something more meaningful. We talk about everything, from the meaning of Toto’s “Africa” to whether or not ghosts exist to what caused the downfall of different ancient societies.
When I met my best friend, we didn’t start with small talk. We went right into the thick of things. Now we’re inseparable.
Those conversations will help you get to know someone on a deeper level than small talk ever will.
So, skip the small talk and drive right in.