My New Years’ Resolution
I don’t like the word “resolution.” This word means to find a solution to a problem. I’m not a problem that needs fixing. If I make a New Years’ Resolution, it absolutely will not get done. I know this. This is why, at the end of each year, I set goals for the next year.
My goals this year are pretty straight forward, for the most part.
I would like to finish writing my book and self-publish. I would like to read at least 20 new books. I would like to get my weight and my health under control.
Pretty feasible goals, wouldn’t you say?
Well, in addition to those attainable goals, I do have one resolution: Be taken more seriously.
As the youngest of five children, I’m the baby of the family. I’m also among the youngest in my friends group. Needless to say, I am often treated like I’m still a child.
It’s a running theme in my life, actually. I’m the young one who needs to be protected and taken care of. I’m the baby, so I need unsolicited advice about something I’m very familiar with. It happens everywhere, even with strangers.
I’m about 99.999% sure that the world “CHILD” is not written on my forehead, so I need to figure out what it is about me that causes this reaction in other people. I need to find what it is so I can work on changing it.
Being treated like a child has proven to be more demotivating than anything else. It’s even more demotivating than my depression, which is really saying something.
Being treated like a child implies that I’m helpless. The more people act like I’m helpless, the more I start to believe it. Feelings of helplessness turn into feelings of uselessness, which trigger a depressive episode. So, then I don’t finish the book I was on a roll writing. I don’t finish my grad school degree. I don’t follow up on social interactions. I don’t do a lot of things.
I don’t blame anyone, though. It’s not like it’s just certain people. It’s literally everyone, which means that this is a cycle that starts with me. I’m the common denominator.
So, my one resolution in 2019 is to be taken more seriously. I use this word in this instance because it makes sense. I’m looking to resolve a problem that I’ve been having my entire adult life. Just in time to hit the final year of my 20s.
What are your goals for 2019? I’d love to hear them in response to this post!